EXCLUSIVE: Sergey Kovalev fight diary

EXCLUSIVE: Sergey Kovalev fight diary (satire)

Sergey is taking English lessons and his homework this weekend was to write a travel diary of his fight against Jean Pascal in Montreal. One Two Punch got an exclusive look at what he wrote. 

Saturday 14th March 2015

I make good fight Saturday. Jean Pascal is nice man and hit Krusher face many times - no problem. Getting hit in face...it hurt a little...not much... Sometimes Krusher shave with his travel razor. It is not as sharp as razor at home. After shaving - Krusher get mild irritation that goes away with cortisone cream but for a few hours, it not feel good. This how it feels when Krusher get punched by fellow light-heavyweights.

Krusher (me) mildly irritated

Journey to Montreal...no problem. Minor delay at airport, Krusher kill time with Angry Birds. (Normally Krusher kill things with over-hand right) I know it is old game and not fashionable these days. But Krusher like what Krusher like. Kathy Duva call me while I am on level 17 - she tell me which gate limo wait for Krusher when arrive in Montreal. She nice lady but it distract Krusher during game and Krusher had to start level again after conversation. No problem, just mild irritation. Kind of like when Krusher get hit by other light heavyweight.

John David Jackson funny man. He want to go over gameplan a little for Jean Pascal fight. Krusher try and tell him, Krusher got this but coach insists. Krusher politely put away Angry Birds. Between promoter and coach, look like quiet time for Krusher relax in short supply! Mild irritation (kind of like when other light-heavyweight punch Krusher) but important to be nice to Krusher team. Krusher understand Krusher is in privilege position. Krusher could be boxing in Russia where it is cold and boring. Yuk.

Fight this Saturday on HBO. I like very good HBO. Lampley always say very funny thing when Krusher fight and his son Max too. Krusher can sometimes hear it when I punish opponent in fight. Harold Ledderman always there. Krusher not sure why he bother come to Krusher fight since scorecards in Krusher fight seldom necessary. He speak very loud with funny squeaky voice!

Fighter meeting happen. Refreshments are ok, Krusher have a packet of skittles (awesome, Krusher love candy).  Lampley and his son ask questions about Jean Pascal. "Is Pascal Krusher's hardest fight so far?" "Is it annoying for Krusher (that's me) to travel to fight even though Krusher champion?" Krusher say, "both things are ok, mild irritation at worst. Kind of like when Krusher get hit by fellow light-heavyweight."

Krusher (me) crushing

Krusher old pal, Bernard Hopkins, is at fight. I krush Bernard couple months ago. Bernard has fought my coach, Jean Pascal, and Jean Pascal's coach - Roy Jones! Krusher knew Bernard was old but this is getting ridiculous. When I see Bernard, Krusher shakes his hand and take selfie. Bernard starts a short conversation and 5 hours later Krusher is allowed to leave. Sheesh. Important to be polite but listening to Bernard talk so much is a little irritating. Kind of like when Krusher get punch by other light heavyweight.

Fight starts, Krusher clubs ferociously opponent Jean Pascal for a little while. Krusher thought fight was going to be over quickly so Krusher can get back to Angry Birds but Pascal is ok and fight go a little longer. Pascal walks very funny after Krusher clobber him with right hand! Krusher has joke with Lampley Jr during fight and even point point to Pascal stumbling around like vodka drinker in round 8 shortly before fight stop.

Krusher hears that piece of shit Adonis is in the crowd. Krusher very much looking forward to Krushing Adonis skull to dust and stomping the remains but for some reason Kathy Duva says Krusher have to wait. This wait is very irritating and considerably more irritating than getting hit by other light heavyweights. Why this man such massive pussy? Kathy Duva say fight will happen soon after Adonis fight some guy called Bika. Bika? Bika - is that not a part of an Angry Bird? Strange. Kathy Duva say that is a "beak" and even spell it out for Krusher. B-E-A-K. Krusher not completely understand but Kathy nice lady and Krusher not want her make feel bad so Krusher nod pleasantly.

Copyright issue for Krusher (me)

So, back to hotel for Krusher. On way Lampley son, Max tell Krusher about new game called Candy Krush?! Unbelievable! How have Krusher NOT heard about this game named after Krusher? Krusher crushes candy all the time. It so delicious, ESPECIALLY skittles! Krusher wonder if there is a possible copyright infringement here? Krusher famously love candy and all of a sudden game arrives called Candy Krush and Krusher doesn't get piece of action?! Krusher could make millions!? Krusher told: that's life and he should be content about being the most feared man in his division. Krusher mildy irritated...kind of like being hit by other fighters in light-heavyweight division.